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Intro

Disclaimer: I do NOT actually hate Missouri lol

So for COVID Christmas, I got one opportunity to hang out in Asheville with friends that had moved away.  Some came from NYC (and they’re part of my COVID “pod”) and others from around the US but we got tested before, quarantined, etc. etc.  We mostly worked during the day, picked up some dank beers in the evening from the many breweries in town, and cooked epic feasts for dinner.  

Since holiday parties and general hangouts weren't really possible, I decided to make custom cocktail recipes with inside joke-y / punny names as Christmas gifts in time for this Asheville hang for my six or so friends.   Before brainstorming, I asked each friend what flavors & liquor preferences he or she wanted to request and I tweaked the recipes after letting each of them try their cocktail.  I also made these quick-and-easy recipe cards.  If you like the idea of custom-made cocktails, drop me a note and let’s collaborate!

This is the first recipe I’m sharing of the six custom recipes I made for my friends on this trip.  My friend, Cory, requested a mezcal-based spicy drink with pineapple and lime; coincidentally, his now-fiancee requested something similar so I decided to make his-and-her drinks based on the same liquor & flavor profile.

Cory’s cocktail, the I Hate Missouri, is basically a fresh and light spicy mezcal margarita.  A couple notes:

• I really love the bright taste of fresh jalapeño but if you think this would be too spicy you can easily achieve the same freshness without all the spice by removing the seeds!

• I think the name of this drink — I Hate Missouri — is better left as an unexplained inside joke ^-^

• I use pineapple juice (vs fresh pineapple) because I made this in the winter and it’s too difficult to create a standardized recipe since fresh pineapple varies so much between tart and very sweet. If you want to use fresh pineapple:

  • If your pineapple is RIPE, use the same amount of pineapple juice called for BUT just forgo the agave syrup

  • If your pineapple is on the UNRIPE side, double the amount of agave syrup called for

For each cocktail:

• 4 slices fresh jalapeño + 1 for garnish *

• ½ oz agave syrup ^

• 1 oz fresh lime juice

• 3 oz pineapple juice

• 2½ oz mezcal (I used Del Maguey’s Vida mezcal)

• Garnish: charred pineapple wedge + fresh jalapeño slice

* If you like it spicier, leave the seeds in; if you want less spicy, remove the seeds

^ Can also substitute 1 TBSP cane sugar (just make sure to fully dissolve)

For each cocktail:

1. To a cocktail cocktail shaker, add your 4 jalapeño slices and muddle until fragrant

2. Add in the rest of the ingredients except the garnish and standard ice; shake well for at least 20 seconds

3. Strain into a double rocks glass over fresh ice

4. Options for the pineapple wedge garnish, sprinkle some brown sugar on the wedge and:

   • Grill

   • Torch with a kitchen torch

   • Sear in a pan over high heat

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